Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
