It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
