I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
It's blow job season.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
