yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
