My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
