Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
