I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
