Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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