I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
