either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
