You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize