I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
