When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
