Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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