so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
