ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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