TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
