I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize