she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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