omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize