Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
