if i can run in heels then i can drive
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
