Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
