just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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