There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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