Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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