don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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