I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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