I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
