another moral hangover. fuck.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize