its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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