it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Randomize