Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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