How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize