I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
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