Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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