No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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