That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I believe in your delicious
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
