That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
