Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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