you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
