I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
