Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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