Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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