i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Still dying that you shit outside
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Randomize
