I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
