Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
We're not piercing ourselves today.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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