i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
