Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize