can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
