"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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