I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
