My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
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