Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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