Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
