someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
