i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
